Star Wars

Bombardi Black thought up and wrote the script for Star Wars but thought the idea was trite, cheap and contrived. He gave the script to George Lucas because he didn't want to profit from such a ridiculous venture. He has considered the fortune Lucas gained "charity."

George Lucas owes Bombardi Black everything.

Halberd Ax

While traveling in the Swiss Alps during the 14th century, Mr. Black found himself in the midst of a battle between the Swiss Guard and some marauders. A warrior with a heart for peace, Bombardi intervened and prevented a death stroke to one of the marauders when he caught the head of a halberd ax with his teeth. Bombardi managed this feat with a custom made grill he got from Lil' Wayne (circa 2008). The spike part of the head of the halberd broke off in Bombardi's mouth. Bombardi kept the blade as a souvenir. Later during his journey, Bombardi grew tired of the clanking of his flatware and other metal devices as he traversed the country-side. It was at this point that Bombardi took all the metal pieces and determined what was essential to his survival. Even though he deemed none of the pieces essential (Bombardi only ever needed his own two hands [only one on a good day] to survive), Bombardi forged the superfluous cutlery and utensils together on a hinge along with the Swiss halberd blade. That's right, Bombardi Black invented the first Swiss Army knife.

Deep Sea Fishing

Once while on a deep sea fishing trip, the captain of the boat (S.S. Doosy) challenged Bombardi to see who could hold their breath under water longer. Bombardi and the Captain both jumped in the water and 6 minutes later the Captain returned to the surface (nose bleeding). Another 5 minutes went by and Bombardi returned to the surface carrying handful of pearls and an ancient flintlock pistol that he claimed he invented. The Captain was surprised exclaiming that the water was about 80 feet deep where they were and that the pressure should have devasted Bombardi's body. Bombardi then made it known that he actually is a mutant with gills and that the character Kevin Costner plays in Waterworld is based on him. The rest of the crew was surprised that Bombardi had a pistol and pearls and inquired about them. Bombardi then explained that the pistol and pearls were remnants of a ship belonging to Ferdinand of Spain...which he sank with his mind in 1566 (for personal reasons). The captain then paid Bombardi the 20 bucks he bet him over the breath-holding competition. Never the bragger, Bombardi declined to comment on the a fore mentioned incident.